Monday morning, Coachella teasingly tweeted – ‘Tuesday 6PM PDT’. My first thought was “PRESALE TICKETS” and promptly transferred money into my Coachella fund. I was close, sort of. Coachella delivered more than just a presale – they announced their latest enterprise, the S.S. Coachella. For those who think that paying the average $350+ is just not enough for the normal Coachella camp-out experience, fear not! You can now pretend you’re at a legitimate music festival, but instead of sharing a tent you get a comfortable cabin and instead of being caked with dirt for three days, you can relax in a half-acre of green grass. The only salt you’ll be tasting on this trip is from the rim of a margarita, not your own sweat.
With two Caribbean destinations, you can choose to go to the Bahamas at a beginning rate of $750, or $900 to visit Jamaica. If a Stateside room just isn’t enough, you have the option of upgrading to the suites, starting with the Sky Suite and ending with the Royal Suite. Amenities for the suites include “European-trained butler service”, Bulgari bath essentials and a shoeshine service, to name a few. The price for this luxury hasn’t been posted to the website, but according to the New York Times, prices can go up to $9,000 for the minimum suite style. Tickets go on sale this Saturday, complete with a payment plan.
While at sea, you can go to a wine tasting, take part in a bar crawl, listen to Coachella moderator, Jason Bentley, create your own DIYs at the Coachella Art Studio, get a manicure from Ria Lopez, and learn to DJ from “highly trained professionals.” (Hot Chip? Girl Talk? The Rapture?) There are 12 different dining options on board (not including room service) and nine bars/lounges to relax in. The cruise also offers a spa and salon, a fitness center, a casino, a library, an internet cafe, shopping, yoga, a persian garden and champagne high tea – and we haven’t even got to the line-up.
Contrasting from the rest of the seemingly youthful lineup, Pulp will top the list, at least for the first trip to the Bahamas. Hot Chip, Yeasayer, James Murphy from LCD Soundsystem and Sleigh Bells also top the headliners, with smaller acts from Grimes, Cloud Nothings and Black Lips.
Pulp // This Is Hardcore
Hot Chip // I Feel Better
Yeasayer // Longevity
Girl Talk // Oh No
Sleigh Bells // Demons
Grimes // Oblivion
Cloud Nothings // Hey Cool Kid
El-P // The Full Retard
Killer Mike // Burn
Warpaint // Undertow
Black Lips // Drugs
— Coachella (@coachella) July 16, 2012
— S.S. Coachella (@sscoachella) July 17, 2012
If you’re in Florida in December and would rather spend your money on Carrie Underwood tickets, you can buy the most expensive tickets for only $241.